My first day at the gym!
Hello friends!
As many of you know I have been working on my postpartum weight-loss journey. I gained ninety pounds while I was pregnant with my now, one and a half year old son. I have lost 65 pounds (https://kayleensweightloss.blogspot.com/2019/08/65-pounds-gone.html) and am still working on becoming the healthiest version of myself I can be mentally and physically.
The past year and a half has been filled with a roller coaster of emotions and even an eight pound weight gain! I am a mom to an active little boy and work from home on my blog and also help run a couple of side businesses my husband and I do. I will link the blog that talks about the weight I gained back here https://kayleensweightloss.blogspot.com/2019/08/why-i-gained-8-pounds-back-quit-never.html
You may be thinking about about the title of this blog today..."her first day at the gym?" Yep, it's true. I made it a point to start working on myself from home and doing home workouts without any equipment. I knew if I was dedicated to working out for free at home then when the time would come where I could get a membership at a local gym I would make sure I got my moneys worth and be just as dedicated away from home as I was at home. I would definitely recommend proving your dedication to yourself at home before getting a gym membership.
Any-who, moving on to why we are all here reading this page. My first day at the gym.
To be completely honest, I was so nervous and I had so much anxiety over going to the gym. "Wait, what?! This girl just said she was so excited and wanted it so bad??" When I first knew I was getting a membership I was way too excited and just couldn't wait, but then the morning I was heading there it all just hit me at once. I started doubting myself, I was getting self conscious, my poor baby had to go to daycare for the first time and I just felt like a mess! I started to get in my head over all these different scenarios and the fear of people watching me.
One thing, a lot of people find out about me pretty fast is I love to workout because it is an outlet and once I get going, I work really hard and am in my own little world. I sweat so much that usually my bra makes a smiley face on my back. Knowing full well, I am one of those girls who eats a ton and sweats a ton I get a lot of the "whoa, geez" kind of looks and in my head I'm thinking. I am going to be judged so hard.
I didn't want anyone to see me, smell me, or help me. I mean please, do not come up to me and try to perfect my form, or give me tips because I do not want to talk, I just want to get in and get out and finish a good workout. That sounds kind of rude, but to be honest that would mean that you were watching me and judging me before you walked up to me which is what I do not want to ever happen and it was legit giving me so much anxiety.
You might be thinking "jeez, how many times has this happened to her?" none. nada, not even once. I have just heard stories from my friends and I did not want that experience happening to me. I have only had a membership at a Crossfit gym where everyone was doing the same thing and sweated just as much as I did, so I never had to worry, but at this gym you are on your own and doing your own thing. I started to get so dang nervous.
All those doubts in my head could have made it pretty easy to just say " I'll go tomorrow" and then talk myself out of it again later. I could have let my anxiety get the best of me and win. All the reasons I became unhealthy in the first place could have taken over.
That is not who I choose to be anymore. When it comes to working on your health and making it a priority you change your attitude. You know how strong you have to be mentally every single time a doubt comes into your head. So, as these fears, doubts and anxieties started to overcome me, I fought back. I work hard and I am proud of how hard I work. No one has that much time to watch you and who cares? You are there to work on your health and crush your goals, not to worry about someone next to you. Your baby, he likes meeting new friends, he won't be lonely, let him have fun for pete sakes! You choose today to become greater by your actions, skipping out now won't improve what you were working on yesterday.
I got to the gym, I dropped my baby off at daycare and I found a treadmill. I have wanted to run for a long time and I knew I needed to get out of my head, running helps so I hopped on and turned up my music real loud. Five minutes into my run there were two people running on either side of me and once again..."ahhh they are listening to my lame music, my breathing is so loud, oh my gosh I'm like stomp running on this thing...here comes the sweat" I honestly hate myself sometimes.
Nope, not happening. I am here and I paid for this membership and I am going to work hard today. If they decide to look, it will be because I am crushing my workout and I refuse to think anything else.
So I ran. I sweated. I was huffing and puffing and I exceeded my goals. I freakin crushed it.
I picked up my son from daycare and he had a blast.
I completed my first day at the gym.
It felt so good to conquer my insecurities and anxieties. It felt good to set the bar high for the rest of the week. If felt amazing.
Looking back at who I was when I was unhealthy, I would have let my fears take over me. The gym was one of those things that I made up to be something bigger than it really was when it came to working out in a public setting. I could have stayed at home and given in, but I didn't. I fought back, just like I do everyday when it comes to me becoming the best version of myself.
I AM SO HAPPY I WENT.
I love the gym and I look forward to it!
We all can do hard things when we set our minds to it. We all can motivate and inspire others. We all can fight back. We all can get up and get it!
-Kayleen
As many of you know I have been working on my postpartum weight-loss journey. I gained ninety pounds while I was pregnant with my now, one and a half year old son. I have lost 65 pounds (https://kayleensweightloss.blogspot.com/2019/08/65-pounds-gone.html) and am still working on becoming the healthiest version of myself I can be mentally and physically. The past year and a half has been filled with a roller coaster of emotions and even an eight pound weight gain! I am a mom to an active little boy and work from home on my blog and also help run a couple of side businesses my husband and I do. I will link the blog that talks about the weight I gained back here https://kayleensweightloss.blogspot.com/2019/08/why-i-gained-8-pounds-back-quit-never.html
You may be thinking about about the title of this blog today..."her first day at the gym?" Yep, it's true. I made it a point to start working on myself from home and doing home workouts without any equipment. I knew if I was dedicated to working out for free at home then when the time would come where I could get a membership at a local gym I would make sure I got my moneys worth and be just as dedicated away from home as I was at home. I would definitely recommend proving your dedication to yourself at home before getting a gym membership.
Any-who, moving on to why we are all here reading this page. My first day at the gym.
To be completely honest, I was so nervous and I had so much anxiety over going to the gym. "Wait, what?! This girl just said she was so excited and wanted it so bad??" When I first knew I was getting a membership I was way too excited and just couldn't wait, but then the morning I was heading there it all just hit me at once. I started doubting myself, I was getting self conscious, my poor baby had to go to daycare for the first time and I just felt like a mess! I started to get in my head over all these different scenarios and the fear of people watching me.
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| *off pinterest at gymholic.com* |
I didn't want anyone to see me, smell me, or help me. I mean please, do not come up to me and try to perfect my form, or give me tips because I do not want to talk, I just want to get in and get out and finish a good workout. That sounds kind of rude, but to be honest that would mean that you were watching me and judging me before you walked up to me which is what I do not want to ever happen and it was legit giving me so much anxiety.
You might be thinking "jeez, how many times has this happened to her?" none. nada, not even once. I have just heard stories from my friends and I did not want that experience happening to me. I have only had a membership at a Crossfit gym where everyone was doing the same thing and sweated just as much as I did, so I never had to worry, but at this gym you are on your own and doing your own thing. I started to get so dang nervous.
All those doubts in my head could have made it pretty easy to just say " I'll go tomorrow" and then talk myself out of it again later. I could have let my anxiety get the best of me and win. All the reasons I became unhealthy in the first place could have taken over.
That is not who I choose to be anymore. When it comes to working on your health and making it a priority you change your attitude. You know how strong you have to be mentally every single time a doubt comes into your head. So, as these fears, doubts and anxieties started to overcome me, I fought back. I work hard and I am proud of how hard I work. No one has that much time to watch you and who cares? You are there to work on your health and crush your goals, not to worry about someone next to you. Your baby, he likes meeting new friends, he won't be lonely, let him have fun for pete sakes! You choose today to become greater by your actions, skipping out now won't improve what you were working on yesterday.
I got to the gym, I dropped my baby off at daycare and I found a treadmill. I have wanted to run for a long time and I knew I needed to get out of my head, running helps so I hopped on and turned up my music real loud. Five minutes into my run there were two people running on either side of me and once again..."ahhh they are listening to my lame music, my breathing is so loud, oh my gosh I'm like stomp running on this thing...here comes the sweat" I honestly hate myself sometimes.
Nope, not happening. I am here and I paid for this membership and I am going to work hard today. If they decide to look, it will be because I am crushing my workout and I refuse to think anything else.
So I ran. I sweated. I was huffing and puffing and I exceeded my goals. I freakin crushed it.
I picked up my son from daycare and he had a blast.
I completed my first day at the gym.
It felt so good to conquer my insecurities and anxieties. It felt good to set the bar high for the rest of the week. If felt amazing.
Looking back at who I was when I was unhealthy, I would have let my fears take over me. The gym was one of those things that I made up to be something bigger than it really was when it came to working out in a public setting. I could have stayed at home and given in, but I didn't. I fought back, just like I do everyday when it comes to me becoming the best version of myself.
I AM SO HAPPY I WENT.
I love the gym and I look forward to it!
We all can do hard things when we set our minds to it. We all can motivate and inspire others. We all can fight back. We all can get up and get it!
-Kayleen
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